Saturday, June 23, 2007

Reid and Congress/Striking Likeness to Infamous Child Molester




Reid had no comment as to whether or not they were
blood relatives or even long lost twin brothers, but he
pointed toward where people might find evidence
of a connection.
As Congressional approval, both Republicans and Dems, hits an all time low, Senator Harry Reid faces another major problem for which only nature could be blamed. His apparent twin, Dale Hutchings, a Pennsylvania elementary crossing guard is infamous for things other than sneaky legislation. He is possibly the biggest haul ever for law enforcement as he faces 1000 sex charges.

The interesting coincidence is that not only is there a strange likeness between Reid and Hutchings but that recent polling suggests the same approval ratings for the jobs they are doing.

Quinnipiac RV (6/5-11/07 Congress/Child Molestation)
23 Approve
66 Disapprove
11 Unsure

Reid said: "Despite the similarities in our popularity, our tactics were quite different. Child molesters usually do their jobs in the light of day while congress often sneaks around at night raping the American public while they were at home sleeping."

Related Articles
Crossing Guard Faces 1,000 Sex Charges
teachersbehavingbadly (below)
A school crossing guard accused of molesting seven children was charged with more than 1,000 counts of sexual assault.

Dale Hutchings was arrested Tuesday and charged with 305 counts of raping a child, 356 counts of aggravated indecent assault against a child under 13, and 356 counts of indecent assault against a child under 13.

The assaults took place between 1998 and 2007, and all of the victims were under 13 when the attacks began, police said.

Hutchings, of Berwick, worked as a crossing guard near Orange Street Elementary School. He also worked for the Berwick Area Ambulance Association and was a high school band booster.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Bush, Pope & Kevorkian Come to Agreement On Memorial Day


by D. Arthur Vader,
Coroner and Death Editor


It was an auspicious occasion indeed as the leader of the free world, the Christian world and of those who voluntarily die came together in a meeting of strange bedfellows. As we honor the fallen dead on Memorial Day in the US, both papal edict and executive order provided a legal and spiritual out for Dr. "Death" Kevorkian.

Dr. Kevorkian took it under advisement but decided to reserve the right for a future occasion as not to overshadow the much more popular death of our soldiers,
"I am honored by the clear endorsement from Mr. Bush and the Pope of my death, but I think it is only fair we celebrate the death of thousands of US soldiers and I dare say many in Iraq are celebrating the deaths of more than 100, 000 of their own people. I only wish I could have been there to assist."
The Pope, in a surprise turn, declared the reestablishment of purgatory with a special spot for Kevorkian at the time of his choosing. Bush joined in by suggesting he wished he had it so good, as he is quite sure he is going to the deepest fires of hell when he dies.

Richard Dawkins, well known leader of the Atheist Church and author of the God Delusion, suggested he only wished there was a hell for Bush so he could join his longtime friend, Rev. Jerry Falwell who recently died just short of this day of death celebration.


Bush's comments were very brief as he had many deaths to celebrate.
"As you know, I never attend funerals but I don't mind people dying, so long as it's not one of my friends. And Dick, don't shoot me in the face, hehe."

Many on the Democratic side of the aisle accused Bush of pandering to the dead and dying.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Dream Interpretations Of President 'W' -- Official Announcement Of Mental Illness

Regular Contributor,
Chinko Vergudo


It seems those who have been complaining that President Bush has been "dreaming" or that he must been "asleep", have apparently turned out to be too close for comfort.

Here is a picture (photo-realistic projection) of one of the images from the President's dreams. It was recently released in an attempt to clarify Bush's position on "listening to others".

You see, 'W' has a rare disease of deafness to ideas called Intellipanica. According to child Dr. Benjamin Spock, Jr. the son of the well-known doctor of the same name from the sixties, 'W' believes he is still a child. Spock took up where his famous father left off. Sock Sr. originated the idea of "never spanking your children" ; he has been tracking the President for many years continuing his father's research.
Spock says, "The disease appears to affect approximately 25% of Americans, mostly either suffering from poverty and illiteracy or they are among the incestuous royal upper class."
The machine, the highest of technology, gives us a rare glimpse into the head of our President and frankly such technology is not affordable to the ordinary American, though we could all use the benefit of clarity that comes from viewing the images created by the brain while dreaming, which Mr. Bush apparently does a lot.

Dr. Spock suggests that an instant deafness occurs to Mr. Bush when he hears good ideas, and he reverts back to his childhood when he was forced to listen to tapes of intelligent men and women who advised his father. Despite, the ideas being of the same party, he seems to simply "shut down" and go into a child's world; a kind of narcoleptic attack, during which he dreams of animals attempting to bite him while he waits for his mommy when she is in the store.

It seems that Barbara, his mother, used to leave him in the car for hours at a time with the windows up and Secret Service guards posted outside the car, while the temperature rose to well over 120 degrees inside the car, frying his brain. The result is a kind of zombi-ism that appears to many to be simply smiling and nodding in agreement. But, Mr. Bush, much like Terry Schiavo, is in a vegetative state. In wealthy families, it often goes undetected as they will get into the right schools anyway, despite their poor thinking skills. Alcohol seems to help slightly at early stages of the disease.

In W's case, he was very popular and assumed intelligent as his father had been. The Bush family is only now admitting that he needs help and puppetmaster Karl Rove has been called in to administer his usual revival methods while helping Mr. Bush to appear to be in control.

According to VP Cheney, he just needs a kick in the ass to get him back into reality from time to time, but now he is slipping and may very well fall into a permanent vegetative state soon if not already. It is hard to tell, according to Dr. Spock.

Now that the problem is out in the open, it all make sense why he appeared disinterested and blank when Chief of Staff Andrew Card informed him of the 9/11 attacks. He just kept listening to the children's stories and that seemed to give him the coping mechanism to which he had become accustomed.

Much like his predecessor, Reagan, it appears not to matter as VP Cheney claims he has compensated for the mental illness. It should be noted W has been sleepwalking recently, mumbling, "Don't shoot me in the face," and loudly calling Laura a "cunt" while asking his twin daughters to pass him the bottle, which they do.

The first lady has adjusted well as her dosage of Zanax is more than sufficient to keep her smiling most of the time. Meanwhile the President slips more deeply into the disease and there appears to be no cure.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Unsuccessful Suicide Bomber on American Soil: Attempt on Cheney's Life

Thank God For Small Miracles!

As the plane began its landing approach to Chicago, the enemy flew into action. Yes, a terrorist posing as a bird committed suicide by flying into the engine of the plane. Thankfully, the pilots were well-trained to handle such an incident and took evasive maneuvers.

The plane landed safely,
and no one was hurt.
Vice President Dick Cheney
gets off his plane in Chicago.

CBS

Cheney was on his way to unleash harsh criticism against Dems, as usual, and apparently foreign agents or possibly Americans (yet to be determined) or those compromised by the Democrat Anti-War movement, made their attack on the VP's plane without regard for the possible death to many others aboard the plane: SS agents, and other patriots.

"All of a sudden we heard this tremendous bang," said Jon Bernaden, a passenger on that flight. "We were pretty lucky that the pilot and the engine did exactly what they were supposed to do" as their anti-terrorist training kicked into action.

Northwestern University professor Aaron Gellman said that while "it's very rare that there's any life-threatening effect from a bird strike of a commercial aircraft," it can cause enough to damage to shut the engine down or cause a fire as any enemy of the state would know.

Other birds crowding in to view the incident expressed sure outrage at the failure, as they still share a consensus disgust with Cheney for his hunting practices.

Luckily for America, VP Cheney is fine after doctors have cleared him of any effect on his ailing black heart.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Karl Rove, Cheney and Others Cleared of All Charges at Duck University

Rumorout.org/New Whore Times
by
Contributor - deepduckthroat

As a followup to the original article about the prominent case, Members and fans of the Duck University Girl Field Hockey team can let a sigh of relief today as all charges were dropped.

As it turns out the overly aggressive prosecutor was trumped by the overly aggressive prostitutor, Dick Cheney as he claimed executive privilege with assurances from head Duckfucker Bush that immunity would prevail if the the privilege were challenged.

Many members of the duck community have protested, claiming that Rove and Cheney were abusing their sexual positions. Many Duck party members were seen quacking and shaking their asses today, which probably led to the original Duckfucking incident in the first place.

Karl Rove, in a brief press conference today said, "Justice has prevailed. Every Duckfucker should feel vindicated today as the appropriate blame on Ducks and a recognition of every man's right to fuck Ducks was upheld today.

Now that the case is closed, the question is how it will effect the political prospects of other members of the Duckfucking Party in upcoming 2008 Presidential Erections.

Nancy Pelosi, quacked on that "this only reflects badly on Duck University, and should minimally result in a careful consideration in the future admissions of admitted Duckfuckers to Duck University."

Saturday, March 31, 2007

Involuntary Transvestite-Man Pleads for His Penis Back, Wife Throws it to the Dog Next Door

Since we can't find any good lies this week we will have to settle for the painful truth, yet again.

Yao Fengfang from China has received a 3-year suspended sentence for severing her husband's penis because she suspected he was cheating. Her husband, Li Gengbao, requested clemency so she could care for him "for the rest of his life."

"My wife was holding a large part of my penis, and I pleaded with her to send me to hospital immediately, but she refused firmly, and when I pleaded with her to give me back the cut penis, she threw it out of the window," Li said.

Li was able to drive himself to a hospital which immediately dispatched staff to find the man's missing member. Unfortunately for Li a dog belonging to a neighbor found and consumed the penis before staff could retrieve it.



Photo Demonstration:Mattel
Source: www.ananova.com
Via shortnews.com

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Friday, March 23, 2007

Drunken Bush gets real ugly with Laura -- Calls her a c**t!


As usual, FP news is always suspect, but I always qualify the story when I am NOT kidding. One of those times is now. Things behind closed doors must be bad when things in front of the doors are so noteworthy as the documented history of Bush and Jeff Gannon, well-known Washington homosexual prostitute as FP reported in June 2006 along with testimony of known Vegas female ex-prostitute, Leola McConnell, becomes part of the public record without major news agencies reporting it. By public record, I refer to the 200+ private visits to the White House by Gannon that are logged in official publicly available security records.

It seems as of late, Bush has been on many a drinking binge and on one such occasion he loudly called Laura a c**t in a drunken rage.

Nationally syndicated columnist Wayne Madsen reported recently on the continuing problems in the Bush marriage.

March 13, 2007 --Our White House Press Corps sources report further disturbing news about President George W. Bush. Our sources have witnessed a clearly inebriated Bush approaching members of the press corps and making rude comments, including one particularly crude remark about First Lady Laura Bush. In that case, Bush, nodding toward Laura, called her a "c**t." While Bush's drinking is no secret to the White House press contingent, that particular comment was reportedly the worst they have heard uttered by Bush. Our sources also report that Laura Bush's stays at the White House are less frequent and that her overnight trips to the Mayflower Hotel often coincide with the president's drunken binges.

Note: Madsen continues: Some of our female readers were shocked to see the "C" word in the above news item. This editor wants to make it clear that word was used by George W. Bush to denigrate his wife. It was his word, not mine. It is important that the public knows what kind of person Mr. Bush is by the offensive words he uses. The editor also wants to make clear that the President chose a public press gaggle to use this word -- that is not a private moment between him and his wife. If Mrs. Bush feels her privacy has been violated, she must understand that it is her responsibility to herself, her children, and the nation to end this abusive relationship by legally separating from the President and becoming a role model for other women around the country and the world who find themselves locked into similar abusive marriages.

Nevertheless, we have "asterisked" the word in question. However, Mr. Bush cannot asterisk his own vile words.

Bush gets real ugly with Laura.


FP continues to follow the saga as now it appears that Bush may even be near the breaking point. If his marriage breaks up, there will be no keeping it a secret. So far, Laura has covered her story by claiming to be staying with visiting friends at the Mayflower, even though she has a house full of unoccupied rooms.

With new public records coming out involving the purely political firings and Bush/Rove's direct involvement becoming more obvious, there is pressure that even the most patriotic wife could not endure.

We will be watching for it to cross over into the mainstream media.



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Saturday, March 17, 2007

Just Found: Penis Grown On Arm! (Really)

Photo: ananova.com, image of a similar operation held several years ago


I have heard of a penis being the size of someone's forearm, but they grew a penis on this guy's arm; and no, it's not a nuclear freak. Where have I been? I am so sick of CNN withholding the best news! I just don't know why they only made it 7 inches. Make him a regular stud while you're at it.

A Moscow surgeon said the man will be able to have sex in a few months. He added: “Women will never suspect it is artificial.”

Of course, any gay man, would know in a minute: "Hey, you grew that on your arm didn't you?"

This may be old news for some of you but for those like me, close your mouth right now!

Russian surgeons 'grow' penis on man's forearm
By Nick Holdsworth in Moscow

A Russian man born with genitals so small that he was unable to have sex has been given the chance to lead a normal love life after a new penis was "grown" on his arm during pioneering surgery.

In an 11-hour operation, plastic surgeons in Moscow removed the 28-year-old's undersized penis and stitched it on to his left forearm, where they grafted on additional flesh and tissue taken from his inner arm. The newly enlarged organ, which had grown from less than 2 to nearly 7 inches, was then reattached to his groin.

Click picture to enlarge

His surgeon, Professor Mikhail Sokolshchik, of the National Medical Surgical Centre, hopes that the patient will eventually be able to have sexual relations and father children.

The patient, who comes from a Siberian village and was identified only by his first name, Sergei, paid more than £1,000 towards the cost of the operation, which the doctors warned was performed at his own risk. The bulk of the cost, however, was borne by the clinic, which hopes to market the procedure to similarly afflicted men around the world.

Prof Sokolshchik, who has specialised in microsurgery and phalloplasty - plastic surgery for male sexual organs - for 13 years, said: "We've carried out thousands of operations on patients, ranging from female-to-male transsexuals to the treatment of victims of horrific accidents, and have a wealth of experience in amputation, reconstruction and surgical implants.

"But this operation was highly risky because it was an amputation, reconstruction and reattachment in one go. If it had gone wrong, the patient would have ended up with no genitalia at all."

It is thought that up to one in 200 men are born with "micropenises" - the medical term for male genitalia that are less than two inches long when aroused. Many sufferers find intercourse either difficult or impossible, often having acute psychological problems as a result.

During Sergei's operation, the surgeons began by removing the tip of his penis - the most sensitive part - and grafting it to his left forearm, allowing cell and tissue material to be kept alive.

Simultaneously, skin from his forearm was cut into two separate flaps, which were rolled up and stitched around flexible tubular silicone implants to fashion a lengthened shaft.

The shaft and tip were then joined as one, before they were removed from the forearm and sewn back on to the base of the man's groin. A section of skin from his thigh was then grafted on to his forearm to reduce visible scarring.

Throughout the operation, doctors swiftly reattached severed veins, capillaries and nerve endings to reduce the risk of sensory damage.

Surgeons have previously used skin from a man's forearm, which is similar in composition to that of the male genitals, in micropenis surgery. Usually, however, the micropenis is not removed. Instead, the artificially created shaft is grafted alongside it. The result is in some cases largely cosmetic as the new shaft may have only limited sensation.

David Ralph, a consultant urologist at St Peter's Hospital and the Institute of Urology in London, who pioneered the original technique last year, said that Prof Sokolshchik appeared to have taken the procedure a stage further.

"This seems to mean that the small penis has been joined to the top of the new one, which is slightly different to our own technique," he said.

Prof Sokolshchik, who plans to publish full details of the procedure in a medical journal, said the patient was coming to the end of his two-month recuperation period since the operation.

Sergei should soon be able to have sex for the first time. He will not be able to achieve an erection, but will be in a permanent state of semi-arousal. "He has never had a partner or sex because of his micropenis," Prof Sokolshchik said.

"Now he has the opportunity to begin his sexual and romantic life and to father children, assuming his sperm count is normal."

He declined to give further details about Sergei, beyond saying that he contacted the centre eight months ago after reading about it on the internet. Sergei still faces challenges in his quest for a successful love life. "He has never had a partner before and lives in a village in an extremely remote area," said Prof Sokolshchik. "It may not be that easy for him."

•Additional reporting by Ruth Hetherington




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Man Chops His Own Penis Off After Wife Left



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Simulated Photo From Archives-For those with no imagination (Eek)

Too bizarre to be fiction

Zakopane, Poland - An apparently grieving and angry 40-year-old man from Poland carved his own genitals off with a 6 inch knife after his wife left him. Tadeus Konopizc, from the city of Zakopane, did this in a fit of drunken anger after more than one bottle of Vodka.

According to reports, the man was in excruciating pain. He was still able to call for help. The paramedics arrived on the scene and immediately asked for a helicopter to rush the man to the hospital, where they intended to reattach his penis.

However, heavy fog in the city delayed the helicopter rescue team and surgeons in Bialystok said it was too late to save his genitals. Zakopan is now expected to receive surgery for months to synthesize his private parts using tissue from other parts of his body.

Can't Rape the Willing? 17 yo Gets Off - His Teacher Not so Lucky

Teacher jailed for oral sex with male teenage student


Rebekah Todd - Oral Sex w/17yo

Rebekah M. Todd is seen during a court appearance in this May 15, 2006 file photo.

Story Originally Reported on AP. Updated by FP: Mar 17, 2007 at 10:17 AM EST

TACOMA, Wash. - A Tacoma judge ignored a plea bargain and sentenced a former Buckley teacher to six months in jail for having sex with a 17-year-old student in April, 2006. The judge apparently wanted to make an example of her.

Rebekah M. Todd, 25, had expected a sentence of 30 days in home detention when she appeared Friday in Pierce County Superior Court. She had pleaded guilty to attempted second-degree assault. It is not yet reported whether or not the teen consented or if she had wielded her authority or grades in order to gain his compliance.

She was so confident the Judge would accept the sentence recommended by prosecutors and her defense attorney that she reportedly had her husband waiting outside in the car to take her home after the hearing according to reports in the Tacoma News Tribune.

When contacted at his home in Forks, Clallam County, Todd’s husband of seven months, Ricky Gooding, declined to comment Monday.

Prosecutors said they had evidence she performed oral sex on the White River High School boy the number of times also yet to be reported. Prosecutors said they had evidence Todd performed oral sex on the boy, 17 years old at the time, and later kissed him at a party. The health and physical education teacher resigned after she was accused and forfeited her teaching certificate.

The deputy prosecutor, Hugh Birgenheier, says the judge, Bryan Chushcoff, decided not to follow the recommendation from the plea bargain because of the intent of earlier legislation making it illegal for k-12 teachers to have sex with students.

Professional codes of conduct bar sexual contact between school employees and all students. But, if the students were 16 or older, such contact wasn't always considered illegal until a new bill addressing the topic passed the Washington Legislature in 2001.

Editor's note: The article didn't say how the act was exposed. Do you suppose this 17 yo boy complained or bragged?
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Friday, March 16, 2007

300: Premonition of US/Iran War?



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Another installment of Channel's Checklist brings us a preview of 300, the epic battle film about the ancient Persians, better known today as the Iranians and that's why this portrayal has apparently slightly offended some political leaders. Can't they take a compliment?

In this film, every man has 6 pack abs of steel and would lead the viewer to believe that Iran would be a fierce foe in any upcoming Bush confrontation. Let's face it, Iran has been flexing its muscles for a couple of years now in a Napoleonic frenzy and now that a movie makes them appear to be fierce warmongers, they start crying foul.

False Pretender is proud to give you a glimpse of this film that is apparently symbolically portraying Iran as superior to the US in a future Armegeddon.

2min 55sec

Sunday, March 11, 2007

The Anti-Bush Poster Collection - Click for Full Size


A BAD DAY IN IRAQ

SACRIFICE
THE DIM REAPER
DICK CHENEY EMOTIONAL CHART
HEY SLUGGO!
RISK
MAN ON DOG, 2006
HELLY, TITTY!
THE WORLD HAS HAD ENOUGH
GI GEORGE'S STATUE OF IMMIGRATION
THE DIFFERENCE?

WOULD YOU?

Poster

TIME FOR A MAKEOVER

Poster

THE GROOM OF THE STOOL

Poster

BUSHBORO

Poster

MY, BUT HOW THINGS HAVE CHANGED...

Poster

UNMASKED

Poster

IT'S NOT FASCISM

Poster

SURE...

Poster

THE GREAT DICTATOR

Poster

YOU VOTED FOR WHO?

Poster

I'M BAD

Poster

BUSH'S WORLD

Poster

COLLAGE

Poster

HURRY UP

Poster

EIN VOLK, EIN REICH

Psychedelic poster.

BACK TO IRAQ AGAIN

Poster

I WANT YOU... TO IMPEACH BUSH

Poster

NO MORE IRAQ

Poster

ONE NATION UNDER SURVEILLANCE

Poster

MISS BIN LADEN

Poster

BROKEBACK WHITEHOUSE

Poster

WORLD'S WORST?

Poster

MERRA CHRISHMISH

POSTER

DANGER: POLICE STATE

POSTER

O'REILLY'S NEW BOOK

POSTER

ABSOLUT CORRUPTION

POSTER

WE ARE WINNING

POSTER

THIEF OF BAGHDAD

POSTER

PRETTY IMPRESSIVE

Poster

THE GREAT DICTATOR

Poster

SEAN HANNITY

Poster

THEY'LL NEVER GET CAUGHT

Poster

ENLIST

Poster/sticker

VIOLENT EXTREMIST

Poster

OH GOD

Poster

ABSOLUT CRIMINALS

Poster

SQUEAKING TRUTH

Poster

GREAT LEAP FORWARD

Poster.

SACRIFICE

Poster from Aleksandar Vodevic.

IF ONLY WE HAD A FREE PRESS

Poster

DESTRUCTION COMICS

Poster- more at Satirical Booyah

REPUBLICAN FASCIST BASTARDS

Poster

AMERICANS GO HOME

Poster/Sticker

I KNOW WHAT YOU DID...

Poster

QUESTIONS

Flier/Poster.

LYING C**T

Sticker/poster (adult language!)

FRODO FAILED

Poster

GANNON_02

Poster

GANNON_03

Poster (for adults)

TWO MEN- ONE VISION

Poster

SEAN HANNITY PROPAGANDA

Postcard/Sticker

PEOPLE OF THE YEAR

Poster

TIME

Poster

1W1300

Poster

VERIFYGRA

Poster

BANNED

Poster (PDF)

HUMMER

Poster (PDF)

WHO'S A TERRORIST?

Poster

GRACIAS, GEORGE

Poster (Español)

BUUUUSH

Poster (Español)

MAS VACA QUE VAQUERO

Poster (Español)

NAZIS FOR BUSH

Poster

VILLAGE VOICE COVER

Poster

ONCE A CROOK

Poster

THE PEST HAS A NAME

Poster

I WANT YOU

Poster

DAY OF THE DREAD

Updated poster

A GESTURE OF THANKS

Poster

ANOTHER MESSAGE

Poster

WAIT A SECOND...

Poster

ALWAYS

Poster

WEAPON

Poster

DAY OF THE DREAD

Poster

ARTY

Poster

ASK THE BUSH ADMINISTRATION

Poster

BUSH IS SATAN '04

Poster

RAT BASTARD

Poster

BUSH GOTHIC

Poster

TO HELL IN A HANDBASKET

Poster

BUSH MERCURY

Poster

DO NOT FEED

Poster from ten-year-old antibush crusader!

TRUTH

Poster

GEORGE UU BOOSH

Poster

BUSH'S TAKE ON JESUS

Poster.

WOULD YOU TRUST THIS MAN WITH YOUR CHILDREN?

Bumpersticker


STAMP

Poster

THE DICK

Poster

THE SIEGE

Poster

KERRY AND ROBIN

Poster

NO PROBLEM...

Reagan Poster.

PRESIDENT EVIL

Movie poster parody.

THE PRESIDENT

Movie poster parody.

MOUNT RUMSFELD NATIONAL PARK

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