Sunday, April 15, 2007

Unsuccessful Suicide Bomber on American Soil: Attempt on Cheney's Life

Thank God For Small Miracles!

As the plane began its landing approach to Chicago, the enemy flew into action. Yes, a terrorist posing as a bird committed suicide by flying into the engine of the plane. Thankfully, the pilots were well-trained to handle such an incident and took evasive maneuvers.

The plane landed safely,
and no one was hurt.
Vice President Dick Cheney
gets off his plane in Chicago.


Cheney was on his way to unleash harsh criticism against Dems, as usual, and apparently foreign agents or possibly Americans (yet to be determined) or those compromised by the Democrat Anti-War movement, made their attack on the VP's plane without regard for the possible death to many others aboard the plane: SS agents, and other patriots.

"All of a sudden we heard this tremendous bang," said Jon Bernaden, a passenger on that flight. "We were pretty lucky that the pilot and the engine did exactly what they were supposed to do" as their anti-terrorist training kicked into action.

Northwestern University professor Aaron Gellman said that while "it's very rare that there's any life-threatening effect from a bird strike of a commercial aircraft," it can cause enough to damage to shut the engine down or cause a fire as any enemy of the state would know.

Other birds crowding in to view the incident expressed sure outrage at the failure, as they still share a consensus disgust with Cheney for his hunting practices.

Luckily for America, VP Cheney is fine after doctors have cleared him of any effect on his ailing black heart.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Karl Rove, Cheney and Others Cleared of All Charges at Duck University Whore Times
Contributor - deepduckthroat

As a followup to the original article about the prominent case, Members and fans of the Duck University Girl Field Hockey team can let a sigh of relief today as all charges were dropped.

As it turns out the overly aggressive prosecutor was trumped by the overly aggressive prostitutor, Dick Cheney as he claimed executive privilege with assurances from head Duckfucker Bush that immunity would prevail if the the privilege were challenged.

Many members of the duck community have protested, claiming that Rove and Cheney were abusing their sexual positions. Many Duck party members were seen quacking and shaking their asses today, which probably led to the original Duckfucking incident in the first place.

Karl Rove, in a brief press conference today said, "Justice has prevailed. Every Duckfucker should feel vindicated today as the appropriate blame on Ducks and a recognition of every man's right to fuck Ducks was upheld today.

Now that the case is closed, the question is how it will effect the political prospects of other members of the Duckfucking Party in upcoming 2008 Presidential Erections.

Nancy Pelosi, quacked on that "this only reflects badly on Duck University, and should minimally result in a careful consideration in the future admissions of admitted Duckfuckers to Duck University."
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