Monday, May 28, 2007

Bush, Pope & Kevorkian Come to Agreement On Memorial Day

by D. Arthur Vader,
Coroner and Death Editor

It was an auspicious occasion indeed as the leader of the free world, the Christian world and of those who voluntarily die came together in a meeting of strange bedfellows. As we honor the fallen dead on Memorial Day in the US, both papal edict and executive order provided a legal and spiritual out for Dr. "Death" Kevorkian.

Dr. Kevorkian took it under advisement but decided to reserve the right for a future occasion as not to overshadow the much more popular death of our soldiers,
"I am honored by the clear endorsement from Mr. Bush and the Pope of my death, but I think it is only fair we celebrate the death of thousands of US soldiers and I dare say many in Iraq are celebrating the deaths of more than 100, 000 of their own people. I only wish I could have been there to assist."
The Pope, in a surprise turn, declared the reestablishment of purgatory with a special spot for Kevorkian at the time of his choosing. Bush joined in by suggesting he wished he had it so good, as he is quite sure he is going to the deepest fires of hell when he dies.

Richard Dawkins, well known leader of the Atheist Church and author of the God Delusion, suggested he only wished there was a hell for Bush so he could join his longtime friend, Rev. Jerry Falwell who recently died just short of this day of death celebration.

Bush's comments were very brief as he had many deaths to celebrate.
"As you know, I never attend funerals but I don't mind people dying, so long as it's not one of my friends. And Dick, don't shoot me in the face, hehe."

Many on the Democratic side of the aisle accused Bush of pandering to the dead and dying.

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