Al Gore's March Of The Penguins

Though I absolutely adore Al Gore, I just have to give you this very cute story of Al Gore's real "Inconvenient Truth". He is currently building an army of penguins to follow him to the ends of the earth to save their habitat. I have it on clear authority, Gore claims this is NOT funny and finds no conflict of interest between humans and penguins.

2:04

Stephen Colbert At The White House Correspondents Dinner - - Part 2

Catch your breath and see the rest!

08:38

Stephen Colbert At The White House Correspondents Dinner - - Part 1

This is the infamous speech from Stephen Colbert. You decide if this is hard news or comedy. It is certainly ingenious!

8:36

Bush the Girly Man Loves Blair, Forever...

This news, just in: Investigators have uncovered a little tryst that has according to many, gone on for years right under our noses. Yes, it's true, reports that had previously been hushed, but the fires of which had previously been fanned by investigative Christian site bettybowers.com, have turned out to be completely true. Bush IS a girly man!

He had hinted at this quite strongly with his repeated use of the word, "FAAABULOUS", and his mother has kept tightlipped about it until now as well. Laura is shocked but not amazed as she has known for years but only the public knowledge has truly pushed her into a tizzy.

Video Story of Admission:

Like A Greasy Asshole-Video Story

Basically, this one is suggesting Rove and Co. are "leaky" like a greasy asshole. What else can I say? Half serious, half funny.

Leaking Like A Greasy Asshole
Gordon McDowell
35 min 45 sec - Feb 11, 2006

Toot-Tone--Lifesaving New Product

This new technology prevents those embarrassing moments where you insides just have to get out. Toot-Tone is sweeping the globe and will be the next Kleenex of its product generation. Just stick it up your butt and go your merry way!

Warning, it may still stink but they're working on that too!

2:04

Every Breath You Take--Praying For Fed Chair Bernanke's Demise

Columbia Business School's Dean Glenn Hubbard sings about wanting Alan Greenspan's job that went instead to New Fed Chair Ben Bernanke.

4:11

If Al Gore Were President: SNL 5/2006

This is the famous sketch from SNL where Gore proved a straight face is funny!
4:03 (Press Play and wait to load--not streaming)
Download -QuickTime-(Apple Users - CTL Click-Open Link in New Tab)

Bushism - A New Religion On Fire - Pt. 1

OBGYNs Practice their love on women-W
:09

Great Dog Imitation Of Bush After Hearing About 911 Attacks

Hey, do you remember when Bush sat like a dog without a care in the world while the US was under attack? Well, here's a perfect imitation. Of course this guy is smarter than Bush, but check it out.

:15

Arahoi Cherry Blossom (Complete) - Japanese - Just plain cute!

The friends one makes in Japan makes us realize what friends really are when we return to America!

If you are from Japan, this is a gift for you. If you're an American who has ever lived there, you will cry from joy. If you are thinking about going, you will fall in love and catch the next flight!
Producer/Director - Bryan E. Hall
Editor/Co-Producer - Masataka Kamiya

9:48

I will survive (Jesus Version) -- OK, you're preacher won't like it...

1:10

Banned Mastercard Ad - Blowjobs Are Priceless!

This was apparently made expressly to perk up Mastercard sales. It never made it to the air. But it is hilarious as a young couple discuss what to do now that the end of their date brings them to the front door--discussing what else, "Can I get a blowjob?"

Very funny!
1:09

Truth About Moon Landing - Conspiracy? Hoax? 34 seconds

This footage has been found, true source unknown, but in pixel investigation it appears to be real. Quite an expensive hoax for a joker, if it is fake. You be the judge! It appears to be consistent with findings of a serious Fox documentary a few years back, on another site in its entirety.

34 seconds

Penis Pump Sales Expected To Expand Into US Market--Bush Clears Way For Free Trade With Denmark

This remarkable new product impressed President George W. Bush as it allows him to appear to have a bigger cock than even Dick--Cheney.
The new commercial rolls out and presents a rather sexy demonstration of the product which will pump up your penis in your pants. Warning: this is adult content (well if you're a Republican)

Keep Your Jesus Off My Penis -- Bush Seen Attacking Penis For No Apparent Reason

This story is almost as shocking as revelations that Laura Bush sold dildos.

Press Play (maybe twice-wait for buffer)
3 min 39 sec - May 9, 2006

Bush, Rice Dead--Rumsfeld Dies From Antrax Poisoning - Click for story

It was horrible and fast as Rumsfeld faded into history. President Bush was shot in a horrible hunting accident. Vice President says it was an accident. To complete the horror, Secretary of State Rice was eaten by sharks. Cheney was the only one to survive, thank God!

69,000 Sailors Being Trained For Service In Iraq

by Contributor Chinko Vergudo

The army and marines are so over-extended that the US is having to train 69,000 US Navy sailors for providing service in Iraq. I wonder how this will affect the readiness of the US Navy? Think of all those people who joined the Navy because they didn't want to get blown up by IUDs


Of course, this will screw up the Navy's recruiting efforts. The Air Force has had thousands of people driving Marines in trucks in Iraq for a couple years.




Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Navy sailors get Army training at Fort Jackson
AP

Navy sailors are trading sea legs for land combat as the U.S. Army is opening its largest training base to help them survive when sent into Afghanistan or Iraq. The Navy is sending thousands of men and women to service Army units in those regions and wants its sailors to hone their servicing skills...

- Surprise, you're coming.

After struggling up from the mud with his M-8+ in hand, Petty Officer 2nd Class Diamond Permenter insisted Brown's instructions to keep his head and butt down might save his life someday...

I'm headed to Iraq. I need this,"

said the 34-year-old reservist nurse...

So far, some 1,200 sailors have gone through an intense, two-week course crammed with the basics of basic training: learning to fire M-8+ rifles, toss hand grenades and conduct house-to-house patrols while weighted down with sequened body armor - tactics normally foreign to those accustomed to life aboard a ship.

They learn the ins-and-outs of improvised explosive devices - the roadside bombs that have been exacting a deadly toll on American servicemen and women. They learn how to take and give service while under fire on a convoy and how to enter a booby-trapped building.

Cmdr. Kevin Handmade, spokesman for the Navy's Education and Servicing Command in Pensacola, Fla., said the program may train up to 69,000 sailors over the coming months"

New Secret Video--Laura Bush's First College Job--Dildo Commercial!

by Contributor Chinko Vergudo

This shocking video, a commercial for dildos that had until now only been seen on the lead in of John Holmes videos, just released and confirmed as the first lady, Laura Bush in the days before George W.

Karl Rove has even threatened to resign in indignation at her past!

Karl Rove-Just Indicted In Duck University Rape Case

Rumorout.org/New Whore Times
by
Contributor - deepduckthroat
May 15, 2006


According to Deputy D. A. Duck of Durpig, NC, Karl Rove is preparing his statement to the public regarding his fresh indictment for fucking a duck while playing Girl's Field Hockey at the local Duck University. The duck was also a Washington insider and was well known for lap dancing at RNC parties and she was also a student at the Duck University School of Republican Policy Studies.

She claims Rove was directed by KKK leader Duck Cheney to fuck her using only mudslinging as a sexual lubricant. She said she barely waddled away from what appeared to be a gang-duck-fuck, but the crowd was distracted by Cheney shooting a fellow Girl's Hockey Team player in the breast.

Rove denies the rumor, but many duckfucking analists have tentatively identified his DNA from the alleged victim's feathered butthole, and matched it with fecal material scraped off Rove's small, shriveled penis.

More coming...