Showing posts with label sick. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sick. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Karl Rove, Cheney and Others Cleared of All Charges at Duck University

Rumorout.org/New Whore Times
by
Contributor - deepduckthroat

As a followup to the original article about the prominent case, Members and fans of the Duck University Girl Field Hockey team can let a sigh of relief today as all charges were dropped.

As it turns out the overly aggressive prosecutor was trumped by the overly aggressive prostitutor, Dick Cheney as he claimed executive privilege with assurances from head Duckfucker Bush that immunity would prevail if the the privilege were challenged.

Many members of the duck community have protested, claiming that Rove and Cheney were abusing their sexual positions. Many Duck party members were seen quacking and shaking their asses today, which probably led to the original Duckfucking incident in the first place.

Karl Rove, in a brief press conference today said, "Justice has prevailed. Every Duckfucker should feel vindicated today as the appropriate blame on Ducks and a recognition of every man's right to fuck Ducks was upheld today.

Now that the case is closed, the question is how it will effect the political prospects of other members of the Duckfucking Party in upcoming 2008 Presidential Erections.

Nancy Pelosi, quacked on that "this only reflects badly on Duck University, and should minimally result in a careful consideration in the future admissions of admitted Duckfuckers to Duck University."

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Happy Hangover - St. Patty's Day!




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Hotdogs for Homophobes! New Product (if you don't like putting weiners in your mouth)




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Saturday, March 17, 2007

Just Found: Penis Grown On Arm! (Really)

Photo: ananova.com, image of a similar operation held several years ago


I have heard of a penis being the size of someone's forearm, but they grew a penis on this guy's arm; and no, it's not a nuclear freak. Where have I been? I am so sick of CNN withholding the best news! I just don't know why they only made it 7 inches. Make him a regular stud while you're at it.

A Moscow surgeon said the man will be able to have sex in a few months. He added: “Women will never suspect it is artificial.”

Of course, any gay man, would know in a minute: "Hey, you grew that on your arm didn't you?"

This may be old news for some of you but for those like me, close your mouth right now!

Russian surgeons 'grow' penis on man's forearm
By Nick Holdsworth in Moscow

A Russian man born with genitals so small that he was unable to have sex has been given the chance to lead a normal love life after a new penis was "grown" on his arm during pioneering surgery.

In an 11-hour operation, plastic surgeons in Moscow removed the 28-year-old's undersized penis and stitched it on to his left forearm, where they grafted on additional flesh and tissue taken from his inner arm. The newly enlarged organ, which had grown from less than 2 to nearly 7 inches, was then reattached to his groin.

Click picture to enlarge

His surgeon, Professor Mikhail Sokolshchik, of the National Medical Surgical Centre, hopes that the patient will eventually be able to have sexual relations and father children.

The patient, who comes from a Siberian village and was identified only by his first name, Sergei, paid more than £1,000 towards the cost of the operation, which the doctors warned was performed at his own risk. The bulk of the cost, however, was borne by the clinic, which hopes to market the procedure to similarly afflicted men around the world.

Prof Sokolshchik, who has specialised in microsurgery and phalloplasty - plastic surgery for male sexual organs - for 13 years, said: "We've carried out thousands of operations on patients, ranging from female-to-male transsexuals to the treatment of victims of horrific accidents, and have a wealth of experience in amputation, reconstruction and surgical implants.

"But this operation was highly risky because it was an amputation, reconstruction and reattachment in one go. If it had gone wrong, the patient would have ended up with no genitalia at all."

It is thought that up to one in 200 men are born with "micropenises" - the medical term for male genitalia that are less than two inches long when aroused. Many sufferers find intercourse either difficult or impossible, often having acute psychological problems as a result.

During Sergei's operation, the surgeons began by removing the tip of his penis - the most sensitive part - and grafting it to his left forearm, allowing cell and tissue material to be kept alive.

Simultaneously, skin from his forearm was cut into two separate flaps, which were rolled up and stitched around flexible tubular silicone implants to fashion a lengthened shaft.

The shaft and tip were then joined as one, before they were removed from the forearm and sewn back on to the base of the man's groin. A section of skin from his thigh was then grafted on to his forearm to reduce visible scarring.

Throughout the operation, doctors swiftly reattached severed veins, capillaries and nerve endings to reduce the risk of sensory damage.

Surgeons have previously used skin from a man's forearm, which is similar in composition to that of the male genitals, in micropenis surgery. Usually, however, the micropenis is not removed. Instead, the artificially created shaft is grafted alongside it. The result is in some cases largely cosmetic as the new shaft may have only limited sensation.

David Ralph, a consultant urologist at St Peter's Hospital and the Institute of Urology in London, who pioneered the original technique last year, said that Prof Sokolshchik appeared to have taken the procedure a stage further.

"This seems to mean that the small penis has been joined to the top of the new one, which is slightly different to our own technique," he said.

Prof Sokolshchik, who plans to publish full details of the procedure in a medical journal, said the patient was coming to the end of his two-month recuperation period since the operation.

Sergei should soon be able to have sex for the first time. He will not be able to achieve an erection, but will be in a permanent state of semi-arousal. "He has never had a partner or sex because of his micropenis," Prof Sokolshchik said.

"Now he has the opportunity to begin his sexual and romantic life and to father children, assuming his sperm count is normal."

He declined to give further details about Sergei, beyond saying that he contacted the centre eight months ago after reading about it on the internet. Sergei still faces challenges in his quest for a successful love life. "He has never had a partner before and lives in a village in an extremely remote area," said Prof Sokolshchik. "It may not be that easy for him."

•Additional reporting by Ruth Hetherington




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Man Chops His Own Penis Off After Wife Left



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Simulated Photo From Archives-For those with no imagination (Eek)

Too bizarre to be fiction

Zakopane, Poland - An apparently grieving and angry 40-year-old man from Poland carved his own genitals off with a 6 inch knife after his wife left him. Tadeus Konopizc, from the city of Zakopane, did this in a fit of drunken anger after more than one bottle of Vodka.

According to reports, the man was in excruciating pain. He was still able to call for help. The paramedics arrived on the scene and immediately asked for a helicopter to rush the man to the hospital, where they intended to reattach his penis.

However, heavy fog in the city delayed the helicopter rescue team and surgeons in Bialystok said it was too late to save his genitals. Zakopan is now expected to receive surgery for months to synthesize his private parts using tissue from other parts of his body.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Chinese 3-yr Old - Rubik's Cube - 114 Secs vs American Teen - Condom Through the Nose - Now That's Achievement!

This is how Chinese parents encourage their children to use their minds.


Her record is 114 secs. She does better in front of a crowd.


Here is how American parents fail to encourage theirs. (And you think global warming is a problem)

Saturday, December 30, 2006

The Davinci Gode (A Parody of "The Davinci Code") - Of Course!




1min49sec
For those of you truly offended by sacrilege and semi-porn, skip this one. However, the French bastards that made this don't really give a shit! It is in French but requires no translation. Hopefully, Jesus has a sense of humor.

XXX - Not as it seems...Those silly French!



:20
This must be watched at length in order to fully appreciate the artistry of the French!

Monday, July 03, 2006

Need Glasses? Always Know What You're Blowing!

OK. Let's face it; Blowjobs are funny! This ad for an optical company could only run in a free country... Germany.

This is just in case you were wondering why you couldn't feel it.


Thursday, May 25, 2006

Toot-Tone--Lifesaving New Product

This new technology prevents those embarrassing moments where you insides just have to get out. Toot-Tone is sweeping the globe and will be the next Kleenex of its product generation. Just stick it up your butt and go your merry way!

Warning, it may still stink but they're working on that too!

2:04

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Bush, Rice Dead--Rumsfeld Dies From Antrax Poisoning - Click for story


It was horrible and fast as Rumsfeld faded into history. President Bush was shot in a horrible hunting accident. Vice President says it was an accident. To complete the horror, Secretary of State Rice was eaten by sharks. Cheney was the only one to survive, thank God!

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