Unsuccessful Suicide Bomber on American Soil: Attempt on Cheney's Life

Thank God For Small Miracles!

As the plane began its landing approach to Chicago, the enemy flew into action. Yes, a terrorist posing as a bird committed suicide by flying into the engine of the plane. Thankfully, the pilots were well-trained to handle such an incident and took evasive maneuvers.

The plane landed safely,

and no one was hurt.

Vice President Dick Cheney
gets off his plane in Chicago.
CBS

Cheney was on his way to unleash harsh criticism against Dems, as usual, and apparently foreign agents or possibly Americans (yet to be determined) or those compromised by the Democrat Anti-War movement, made their attack on the VP's plane without regard for the possible death to many others aboard the plane: SS agents, and other patriots.

"All of a sudden we heard this tremendous bang," said Jon Bernaden, a passenger on that flight. "We were pretty lucky that the pilot and the engine did exactly what they were supposed to do" as their anti-terrorist training kicked into action.

Northwestern University professor Aaron Gellman said that while "it's very rare that there's any life-threatening effect from a bird strike of a commercial aircraft," it can cause enough to damage to shut the engine down or cause a fire as any enemy of the state would know.

Other birds crowding in to view the incident expressed sure outrage at the failure, as they still share a consensus disgust with Cheney for his hunting practices.

Luckily for America, VP Cheney is fine after doctors have cleared him of any effect on his ailing black heart.

Bush is an Asshole! Just an opinion (Click for Flash Video)

Click picture for evidence of the claim (Flash Video - wait for punchline)

Involuntary Transvestite-Man Pleads for His Penis Back, Wife Throws it to the Dog Next Door

Since we can't find any good lies this week we will have to settle for the painful truth, yet again.

Yao Fengfang from China has received a 3-year suspended sentence for severing her husband's penis because she suspected he was cheating. Her husband, Li Gengbao, requested clemency so she could care for him "for the rest of his life."

"My wife was holding a large part of my penis, and I pleaded with her to send me to hospital immediately, but she refused firmly, and when I pleaded with her to give me back the cut penis, she threw it out of the window," Li said.

Li was able to drive himself to a hospital which immediately dispatched staff to find the man's missing member. Unfortunately for Li a dog belonging to a neighbor found and consumed the penis before staff could retrieve it.

Photo Demonstration:Mattel
Source: www.ananova.com
Via shortnews.com

Drunken Bush gets real ugly with Laura -- Calls her a c**t!

As usual, FP news is always suspect, but I always qualify the story when I am NOT kidding. One of those times is now. Things behind closed doors must be bad when things in front of the doors are so noteworthy as the documented history of Bush and Jeff Gannon, well-known Washington homosexual prostitute as FP reported in June 2006 along with testimony of known Vegas female ex-prostitute, Leola McConnell, becomes part of the public record without major news agencies reporting it. By public record, I refer to the 200+ private visits to the White House by Gannon that are logged in official publicly available security records.

It seems as of late, Bush has been on many a drinking binge and on one such occasion he loudly called Laura a c**t in a drunken rage.

Nationally syndicated columnist Wayne Madsen reported recently on the continuing problems in the Bush marriage.

March 13, 2007 --Our White House Press Corps sources report further disturbing news about President George W. Bush. Our sources have witnessed a clearly inebriated Bush approaching members of the press corps and making rude comments, including one particularly crude remark about First Lady Laura Bush. In that case, Bush, nodding toward Laura, called her a "c**t." While Bush's drinking is no secret to the White House press contingent, that particular comment was reportedly the worst they have heard uttered by Bush. Our sources also report that Laura Bush's stays at the White House are less frequent and that her overnight trips to the Mayflower Hotel often coincide with the president's drunken binges.

Note: Madsen continues: Some of our female readers were shocked to see the "C" word in the above news item. This editor wants to make it clear that word was used by George W. Bush to denigrate his wife. It was his word, not mine. It is important that the public knows what kind of person Mr. Bush is by the offensive words he uses. The editor also wants to make clear that the President chose a public press gaggle to use this word -- that is not a private moment between him and his wife. If Mrs. Bush feels her privacy has been violated, she must understand that it is her responsibility to herself, her children, and the nation to end this abusive relationship by legally separating from the President and becoming a role model for other women around the country and the world who find themselves locked into similar abusive marriages.

Nevertheless, we have "asterisked" the word in question. However, Mr. Bush cannot asterisk his own vile words.

Bush gets real ugly with Laura.

FP continues to follow the saga as now it appears that Bush may even be near the breaking point. If his marriage breaks up, there will be no keeping it a secret. So far, Laura has covered her story by claiming to be staying with visiting friends at the Mayflower, even though she has a house full of unoccupied rooms.

With new public records coming out involving the purely political firings and Bush/Rove's direct involvement becoming more obvious, there is pressure that even the most patriotic wife could not endure.

We will be watching for it to cross over into the mainstream media.

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13 y/o Boy Charged With More Than 100 Felonies!

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Just Found: Penis Grown On Arm! (Really)

Photo: ananova.com, image of a similar operation held several years ago

---

I have heard of a penis being the size of someone's forearm, but they grew a penis on this guy's arm; and no, it's not a nuclear freak. Where have I been? I am so sick of CNN withholding the best news! I just don't know why they only made it 7 inches. Make him a regular stud while you're at it.

A Moscow surgeon said the man will be able to have sex in a few months. He added: “Women will never suspect it is artificial.”

Of course, any gay man, would know in a minute: "Hey, you grew that on your arm didn't you?"

This may be old news for some of you but for those like me, close your mouth right now!

Russian surgeons 'grow' penis on man's forearm
By Nick Holdsworth in Moscow

A Russian man born with genitals so small that he was unable to have sex has been given the chance to lead a normal love life after a new penis was "grown" on his arm during pioneering surgery.

In an 11-hour operation, plastic surgeons in Moscow removed the 28-year-old's undersized penis and stitched it on to his left forearm, where they grafted on additional flesh and tissue taken from his inner arm. The newly enlarged organ, which had grown from less than 2 to nearly 7 inches, was then reattached to his groin.

Click picture to enlarge

His surgeon, Professor Mikhail Sokolshchik, of the National Medical Surgical Centre, hopes that the patient will eventually be able to have sexual relations and father children.

The patient, who comes from a Siberian village and was identified only by his first name, Sergei, paid more than £1,000 towards the cost of the operation, which the doctors warned was performed at his own risk. The bulk of the cost, however, was borne by the clinic, which hopes to market the procedure to similarly afflicted men around the world.

Prof Sokolshchik, who has specialised in microsurgery and phalloplasty - plastic surgery for male sexual organs - for 13 years, said: "We've carried out thousands of operations on patients, ranging from female-to-male transsexuals to the treatment of victims of horrific accidents, and have a wealth of experience in amputation, reconstruction and surgical implants.

"But this operation was highly risky because it was an amputation, reconstruction and reattachment in one go. If it had gone wrong, the patient would have ended up with no genitalia at all."

It is thought that up to one in 200 men are born with "micropenises" - the medical term for male genitalia that are less than two inches long when aroused. Many sufferers find intercourse either difficult or impossible, often having acute psychological problems as a result.

During Sergei's operation, the surgeons began by removing the tip of his penis - the most sensitive part - and grafting it to his left forearm, allowing cell and tissue material to be kept alive.

Simultaneously, skin from his forearm was cut into two separate flaps, which were rolled up and stitched around flexible tubular silicone implants to fashion a lengthened shaft.

The shaft and tip were then joined as one, before they were removed from the forearm and sewn back on to the base of the man's groin. A section of skin from his thigh was then grafted on to his forearm to reduce visible scarring.

Throughout the operation, doctors swiftly reattached severed veins, capillaries and nerve endings to reduce the risk of sensory damage.

Surgeons have previously used skin from a man's forearm, which is similar in composition to that of the male genitals, in micropenis surgery. Usually, however, the micropenis is not removed. Instead, the artificially created shaft is grafted alongside it. The result is in some cases largely cosmetic as the new shaft may have only limited sensation.

David Ralph, a consultant urologist at St Peter's Hospital and the Institute of Urology in London, who pioneered the original technique last year, said that Prof Sokolshchik appeared to have taken the procedure a stage further.

"This seems to mean that the small penis has been joined to the top of the new one, which is slightly different to our own technique," he said.

Prof Sokolshchik, who plans to publish full details of the procedure in a medical journal, said the patient was coming to the end of his two-month recuperation period since the operation.

Sergei should soon be able to have sex for the first time. He will not be able to achieve an erection, but will be in a permanent state of semi-arousal. "He has never had a partner or sex because of his micropenis," Prof Sokolshchik said.

"Now he has the opportunity to begin his sexual and romantic life and to father children, assuming his sperm count is normal."

He declined to give further details about Sergei, beyond saying that he contacted the centre eight months ago after reading about it on the internet. Sergei still faces challenges in his quest for a successful love life. "He has never had a partner before and lives in a village in an extremely remote area," said Prof Sokolshchik. "It may not be that easy for him."

•Additional reporting by Ruth Hetherington

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Man Chops His Own Penis Off After Wife Left

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Simulated Photo From Archives-For those with no imagination (Eek)

Too bizarre to be fiction

Zakopane, Poland - An apparently grieving and angry 40-year-old man from Poland carved his own genitals off with a 6 inch knife after his wife left him. Tadeus Konopizc, from the city of Zakopane, did this in a fit of drunken anger after more than one bottle of Vodka.

According to reports, the man was in excruciating pain. He was still able to call for help. The paramedics arrived on the scene and immediately asked for a helicopter to rush the man to the hospital, where they intended to reattach his penis.

However, heavy fog in the city delayed the helicopter rescue team and surgeons in Bialystok said it was too late to save his genitals. Zakopan is now expected to receive surgery for months to synthesize his private parts using tissue from other parts of his body.

Can't Rape the Willing? 17 yo Gets Off - His Teacher Not so Lucky

Teacher jailed for oral sex with male teenage student

Rebekah M. Todd is seen during a court appearance in this May 15, 2006 file photo.

Story Originally Reported on AP. Updated by FP: Mar 17, 2007 at 10:17 AM EST

TACOMA, Wash. - A Tacoma judge ignored a plea bargain and sentenced a former Buckley teacher to six months in jail for having sex with a 17-year-old student in April, 2006. The judge apparently wanted to make an example of her.

Rebekah M. Todd, 25, had expected a sentence of 30 days in home detention when she appeared Friday in Pierce County Superior Court. She had pleaded guilty to attempted second-degree assault. It is not yet reported whether or not the teen consented or if she had wielded her authority or grades in order to gain his compliance.

She was so confident the Judge would accept the sentence recommended by prosecutors and her defense attorney that she reportedly had her husband waiting outside in the car to take her home after the hearing according to reports in the Tacoma News Tribune.

When contacted at his home in Forks, Clallam County, Todd’s husband of seven months, Ricky Gooding, declined to comment Monday.

Prosecutors said they had evidence she performed oral sex on the White River High School boy the number of times also yet to be reported. Prosecutors said they had evidence Todd performed oral sex on the boy, 17 years old at the time, and later kissed him at a party. The health and physical education teacher resigned after she was accused and forfeited her teaching certificate.

The deputy prosecutor, Hugh Birgenheier, says the judge, Bryan Chushcoff, decided not to follow the recommendation from the plea bargain because of the intent of earlier legislation making it illegal for k-12 teachers to have sex with students.

Professional codes of conduct bar sexual contact between school employees and all students. But, if the students were 16 or older, such contact wasn't always considered illegal until a new bill addressing the topic passed the Washington Legislature in 2001.

Editor's note: The article didn't say how the act was exposed. Do you suppose this 17 yo boy complained or bragged?
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Obama Not Really A Man! Snipped at the Madrasa

It's true. He's not black. But more, he's not really a man, a US Senator, charismatic, smart or even a Democrat. You heard it: when he was in college at Yale he pledged the same secret Skull and Bones (Bush's buddies) and became a mole for the Republicans.

During his initiation they planted a "Manchurian Candidate" implanted message. As soon as he hears, "So help me God," he will instantly become Dick Cheney.

How do I know this? I'm black and I work for Fox!

Foley-"I gotta big one"---Bush---"Well, in Texas we got some whoppers!"

By Chinko Vergudo

You know, those Washington guys should really be aware of the hidden shotgun microphones and telephoto cameras.

I a recent conversation between President Bush and then Congressman Mark Foley, the two were heard and seen exchanging conquest stories. I can only say they are clearly size queens. Who would have known this conversation would come back to haunt them now that Foley is "out"?


I will tell you this: it had something to do with the real reason Cheney is the bigger man in this administration. I only wish I had not been warned this conversation had been deemed a matter of national security and had been classified, but it is a "big" story. I guess we will have to wait until the file has been declassified by the upcoming Democratic president Ronald Reagan, Jr.



While Cheney is the man behind the president he knows who's on top, Bush certainly prefers to bring people to their knees. Oops! I wasn't supposed to let that one slip. But you never heard it from me.

Raising Twin Harlots Can Be Difficult

Laura Bush is interviewed for the first time on the difficulties of raising her twin harlots. This story is possibly the funniest I have read on the net. The funniest thing is the painful poetic jusctice that is the truth. Betty Bowers reports:

Stephen Colbert At The White House Correspondents Dinner - - Part 2

Catch your breath and see the rest!

08:38

Stephen Colbert At The White House Correspondents Dinner - - Part 1

This is the infamous speech from Stephen Colbert. You decide if this is hard news or comedy. It is certainly ingenious!

8:36

Truth About Moon Landing - Conspiracy? Hoax? 34 seconds

This footage has been found, true source unknown, but in pixel investigation it appears to be real. Quite an expensive hoax for a joker, if it is fake. You be the judge! It appears to be consistent with findings of a serious Fox documentary a few years back, on another site in its entirety.

34 seconds

69,000 Sailors Being Trained For Service In Iraq

by Contributor Chinko Vergudo

The army and marines are so over-extended that the US is having to train 69,000 US Navy sailors for providing service in Iraq. I wonder how this will affect the readiness of the US Navy? Think of all those people who joined the Navy because they didn't want to get blown up by IUDs


Of course, this will screw up the Navy's recruiting efforts. The Air Force has had thousands of people driving Marines in trucks in Iraq for a couple years.




Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Navy sailors get Army training at Fort Jackson
AP

Navy sailors are trading sea legs for land combat as the U.S. Army is opening its largest training base to help them survive when sent into Afghanistan or Iraq. The Navy is sending thousands of men and women to service Army units in those regions and wants its sailors to hone their servicing skills...

- Surprise, you're coming.

After struggling up from the mud with his M-8+ in hand, Petty Officer 2nd Class Diamond Permenter insisted Brown's instructions to keep his head and butt down might save his life someday...

I'm headed to Iraq. I need this,"

said the 34-year-old reservist nurse...

So far, some 1,200 sailors have gone through an intense, two-week course crammed with the basics of basic training: learning to fire M-8+ rifles, toss hand grenades and conduct house-to-house patrols while weighted down with sequened body armor - tactics normally foreign to those accustomed to life aboard a ship.

They learn the ins-and-outs of improvised explosive devices - the roadside bombs that have been exacting a deadly toll on American servicemen and women. They learn how to take and give service while under fire on a convoy and how to enter a booby-trapped building.

Cmdr. Kevin Handmade, spokesman for the Navy's Education and Servicing Command in Pensacola, Fla., said the program may train up to 69,000 sailors over the coming months"

Karl Rove-Just Indicted In Duck University Rape Case

Rumorout.org/New Whore Times
by
Contributor - deepduckthroat
May 15, 2006


According to Deputy D. A. Duck of Durpig, NC, Karl Rove is preparing his statement to the public regarding his fresh indictment for fucking a duck while playing Girl's Field Hockey at the local Duck University. The duck was also a Washington insider and was well known for lap dancing at RNC parties and she was also a student at the Duck University School of Republican Policy Studies.

She claims Rove was directed by KKK leader Duck Cheney to fuck her using only mudslinging as a sexual lubricant. She said she barely waddled away from what appeared to be a gang-duck-fuck, but the crowd was distracted by Cheney shooting a fellow Girl's Hockey Team player in the breast.

Rove denies the rumor, but many duckfucking analists have tentatively identified his DNA from the alleged victim's feathered butthole, and matched it with fecal material scraped off Rove's small, shriveled penis.

More coming...

Fair Immigration vs. Anarchy vs. Liberalism--A Cat Of Many Tails!

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..." said Dickens at the opening of his famous Tale Of Two Cities; A timeless phrase and applicable to the current quandary America faces over its consideration of the current immigration conflicts.

Even liberals are mixed as many of them want freedom of movement between countries and they even feel sorry for those without what they need in their home countries. But they also have a heart for those in America who can't make a fair living because immigrants and the all-too-willing employers force wages down.

Of course Republican are rubbing their hands together, happy about the minorities clashing with one another. "Divide and conquer," say they.

It seems that many have even become confused about who serves who, regarding the proclamations of corporations rights to have cheap labor versus proclamations of workers to have protected fair-living wages. The corporations and those who own them are winning by default, as doing nothing allows them to continue to hire immigrants illegally and hold them as effective slave labor. They know these workers can't quit so easily or complain about unfair treatment.

Many lies prevail: "Americans wouldn't do these jobs", "Blacks would even do these jobs", "Illegal immigrant workers are essential to our economy", and the list goes on.

The fact is Americans have done these jobs in the past for a higher wage than they currently pay. Construction jobs in California paid far more 10 years ago especially when accounting for inflation. Also, one finds kitchens full of non-English speaking people, mostly illegal immigrants, making it impossible for Americans who speak English only, to work alongside them. The same is true of farmworkers. A poor English only American who is otherwise willing to take such jobs is faced with the inability to communicate thus losing the job even if he is hired. After the language barrier creates a roadblock to the legal worker, the illegal ones then demand higher pay. The result is $50/hour incomes for illegal immigrants in some cases. If you want one of these jobs, call Senator McCain's office or go to this site, Project USA. They will direct you to such jobs. They are difficult and maybe impossible if you don't speak Spanish.

Even in the legal immigrant job market, we have companies lying on their H-1 applications in order to hire people from the company owner's home country. They create job descriptions that require say... Chinese; no Americans apply and they can then hire their Chinese compatriots to fill their factories in, for example, City of Industry, CA. Once they have so many Chinese workers, their previous lie becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, making it necessary to recruit even more foreign workers. The employer can control these people, pay them less, and even abuse them without reprisal. Corporations claim they have a right to create this scenario, but they forget "People have rights" and "Corporations and governments are supposed to serve people" not vice-versa.

High-Tech Jobs - Chinese Workers - America

I have personally witnessed one company, PC Club, in California, with several stores and and a huge distribution center/factory in City of Industry, claiming on their H-1 applications that they are "developing multilingual software" and they need to hire bilingual people. Without even having to wait for approval, they hire Chinese workers at every level within their company, from retail store managers to advertising layout departments to high-tech assembly personnel. These are otherwise the kind of jobs Americans would love to have. One US citizen employee did, in fact, inform the INS. After finally failing to get a live person on the phone, he left a message and followed it up in writing. There was no response. Thousands of companies in that area have learned from each other how to play the game and have hired uncountable foreign workers to displace Americans. I don't blame the workers; they just want to make a living and live the American dream. Some do; others are horribly abused. One such Chinese/Taiwanese worker, one Myron Chang, a Georgetown MBA, when he tried to blow the whistle on PC Club, was fired. He went to several lawyers who threw up their hands. Anyone with this legal expertise makes a great living defending such companies not helping workers. They laugh at complaining Americans knowing the INS is complicit.

As a longtime political liberal I am torn. I have lived in many countries and have befriended foreigners who wish they could play by the rules and have a chance of getting in. We have no room for the honest ones, because the dishonest ones keep pushing them to the back of the line while crooked employers do the same and government agencies whose jobs it is to prevent it, actually help them by sitting on their lazy hands or sticking their hands out for apparent payoffs.

It is so out of hand that people are pretending their are no solutions. Well, there are, and it's not building a 700 mile wall and hiring thousands of border patrolmen. It is hiring several Justice Department Prosecutors and going after the employers and putting them under the jail, making examples of them, creating a chilling effect that would make a heavyweight boxer shake.

For the moment, it is smoke and mirrors from immigrant groups, foreign worker unions, corporations, rich politicians and even the INS itself.

The only way we can cause proper reaction is to take action by cutting and pasting articles like this one and sending them to your Congressmen, Senators, the President, Newspapers, and to each other in order to create a groundswell. Otherwise, sit on your hands; pretend nothing is wrong and get ready to allow California, Arizona and South Texas to secede from the union, be taken by criminal force, or to be reabsorbed by Mexico. And yes, you will be asking them for the jobs back they took from you, but at a far lower pay.

Seven Days Before Crucified

I usually don't name names, but here we are at the last installment of a series on dogmatism and bigotry among extremist religions in America.

First, let me point out, for the sake of discussion, Atheists are definitely a religion with various denominations, nonetheless, "strong and weak" atheists, Saganists, followers of Nietzsche, Arthur Clarke and many others. Each group has their own commandments. No better than the extremes of Christian fundamentalism, they attack anyone who is 100% into their dogma. Not only did Jesus spit out "luke warm" water, but the anti-Christ would do the same. But, they both like it hot; both are haters and bigots of those with whom they disagree.

I have learned various techniques through the years as an investigator, to survive while playing the "Pretender". Statistically, the Atheists at "infidelguy.com" don't tolerate differences or questioning even as well as do Southern Baptists at "baptistboard.com". It took three days for the Atheists to expel someone who claimed to be an "unsure Agnostic." The Baptists, mostly, Southern, took a full week to hang me on their heavy cross.

I will credit the latter, not to tolerance, but to their fear of the perception they would dare expel those who "just want to know how to witness to atheists". The Baptists got incredibly angry that someone would even suggest, for example, that their Bible wouldn't suffice as evidence to an Atheist on why they should become Christians. "It says here in the Bible, you should believe the Bible," kind of crazy, cyclical reasoning, but around and around we went. At some point, I even had to pretend to be ignorant of the writings of Nietzsche, "Also Sprach Zarathustra", where he declares , "God is Dead." They would not post a link to a site that defended these evil words. They covered their little burning ears.

By the way, for the record, Nietzsche never claimed to be an Atheist, and his writings suggest more a belief in God than a disbelief, as you can't say He is dead, if he never existed.

However, the greatest surprise came when I suggested the parts of the Bible where Jesus was quoted, "The RED LETTERS," were superior to say, the words of Paul or the Old testament (Pre-Christ), I was attacked to a greater extent than any. I was called a "sissy", "wimp", "unsaved", "not a Baptist nor a Christian." How dare I suggest Jesus was the number one authority on Christianity?

How could I question the fallibility of the Bible which has been used to defend genocide and repression of people on the basis of sex, creed, color, national origin...?" And of course, anyone that would consider things might have changed since the Bible told people to assassinate eaters of pork, shellfish and homosexuals, would be a "heretic". To this day, you will still get into a "cyber fist fight" with Southern Baptists if you suggest even the smartest woman is more qualified to pastor a church than the dumbest man.

In all fairness, not all of the group was hateful nor did they even necessarily express disagreement, but their failure to step up and defend people while they were being attacked or laughed at was simply "un-Christian." There were digital high-fives and laugh-riots when someone would attack those who would express an open mind. They would even use their "emoticons" to wave goodbye to you after a particularly childish insult. There were all of three who outwardly, mildly defended me when I suggested Jesus' love was more important than God's hate. There was even a moderator, DHK, who I sometimes referred to as DIK, who followed me from commentary thread to thread. He either joined in the attacks or simply watched them. I knew he was there because he kept participating in the debates.

When I complained to the Webmaster, Andrew, and sent quotes from the attackers, he simply ignored them and eventually apparently supported my banning. One attacker "standinfirminchrist" (he'll appreciate credit) and his wife, played sockpuppets for one another. I had to use small words for him, and he still didn't ever directly address any of my or other open-minded people's points. Near the end, he complained that I wouldn't take it like a man from his belligerent wife.

A Brit, one "Matt Black" seemed to be able to say just about anything without much backlash. It seems he had built up steam and having survived on the site for a while was not worried in the least about being banned. He even compared God of the Old testament to Hitler and drew little wrath. I suspect he had handled his attackers with and charm earlier in his apprentice days on the site.

In the bigger picture, I didn't hear anything that surprised me in light of the Pat Robersons and Jerry Falwells. They generally vehemently supported our attack on Muslim countries as God's will. Iraq's losses were ineffectual while our loss of life and oil were justification for anything we had to throw at them.

When I first arrived at the board, there were no less than six open threads complaining about the "homosexuals," from marriage to free speech to pedophilia, well, just about anything wrong with society was their fault and "they must be killed" according to Leviticus. I didn't even get to stay long enough to ask anyone if they thought Jesus and some of the disciples might have been gay. I really screwed up alienating myself before I had the chance to throw that one into the mix.

In the larger picture, it is a shame "Christianity" suffers from the truly extraordinary bigotry of the "Southern Baptists" and their minority Independent Baptist brothers. I made reference to a well-known "American Baptist" pastor, Tony Campolo, who , among other things, states "Jesus is not a Republican." Tony has authored 32 religious books and even he knew nothing according to many on this board.

Love, tolerance, peace, protection of the weak... all these "Christian" values went not only to the wayside, they were clearly attacked, consistently! If anyone is worried that the "religious right" might be backing down in light of the recent setbacks in Iraq or Bush's approval ratings, don't lose any sleep. The hate dating back to the Holy inquisition is alive and well in America, and I still fear someone knocking on my door to drag me off to the cross!

For those who offered true Christian friendship: Thank you for such clearminded analysis and kindness. There are clearly today in American Christian churches and even in the media that have never looked beyond their time or place. They pound their Bibles on the heads of those to whom they say they witness. They forget that modernday Russia and in the days before Gutenburg, the Christian Word (John 1:1) lived and people found Christ and Christian values without a Bible. I just talk with my fingers. I see many at the Baptistboard.com use one finger and sometimes HIGH FIVE ... like they scored, even when they didn't.

Editor's Note: Before this article was even completed, someone on the site discovered my true identity and had already posted a warning on baptistforum.com that an enemy had been in their midst. According to my visitor logs, many have been here looking for their names in lights.

Give Me That "New" Old Time Religion?

Do they ever look in the mirror? You know, those religious fundamentalists, who hate everybody in the name of God's love.

I grew up in a Southern Baptist church in North Carolina before anybody ever heard of the Moral Majority and Jerry Falwell. We didn't have cable TV yet, and the religious stations had not caught on.

Sure, sometimes the preacher would scare the hell out of you in order to get you into heaven or to increase the offerings. Every good business does that. But, I never heard attacks on homosexuals and claims that God was punishing people before they died with diseases like AIDS or Herpes. It was only after these guys had an irresistible, huge, loud pulpit on a majority of American's TV's that they claimed the big lie that they were the majority.

I began to hear that some sins were worse than others, even though I had always read that Jesus told people, "Those without sin... cast the first stone."

Well, I went to a Southern Baptist Church for the first time since 1985 last Sunday. My friend had told me there was no hate in his church and that he hadn't heard any hate in Baptists in years.

So I went ready to pretend to be one of the faithful. I shook hands with all the smiling folks, happy to see another white guy that might join their church. Sorry, not one black in the church. I did see someone who was suspect, maybe mulatto, or very tanned, but she had blonde highlights and big hair, so she fit in.



The pastor welcomed everyone with a smile standing behind the podium. He looked around pleased to see people like himself. He felt safe to begin his rampage. No one had GAY written on their forehead, though I did see a guy wearing a pink tie.

This slightly heavy, 50-something man worked his way smoothly from Jesus Loves You to I have something painful to say. We all leaned forward. One man said, "Go ahead, brother."

"I have been watching the Fox TV news this week. Every day I see reports of more American soldiers dead or injured. My heart breaks for their loved ones," said the preacher.

Now, I guess all this sounded very loving to most, but what was missing was disturbing to me, not a word about the Iraqis that lost their loved ones or would never walk again, never get the medical attention for their injuries that our soldiers would. Instead, he focused on the belief they were deprived of the true word of God. Yes, this was love. Finally, I was hearing his compassion. He felt sorry for them, not for their deaths and injuries but their depravity, for their hell bound destiny.

He did not once say, "They are going to hell." He simply said they weren't going to heaven. This is love. With a smugness and gentility befitting of a southern gentleman, he sweetly told us what sinners they were and that they would most likely die without the warm love of Jesus to save them from the hot fires of hell. It never occurred to anyone in the congregation that he was sending them to hell by refusing them heaven.

My friend kept looking over at me as if to say, "See, he's a lover, not a hater." I returned his looks with my "Eat Shit Grin."

I will admit he never once said Iraqis and Arabs were agents of the devil. But, the message was clear; they are not US. God feels sorry for them before he sends them to eternal damnation for their misguided ignorance.

"But we must reach out with our prayers and Christian love; that they might find the true path."

I felt so assured of my reservation at the table of the saved. Everyone was nodding their heads, or nodding off; I'm not sure which. But, he did his job. He made everyone feel so right they would go home, fill their bellies and vote for the God-appointed President again if they could.

Afterwards, I politely told my friend I had other plans for lunch, but I "so enjoyed the sermon." I was so sorry for staying away from the fold for so long. I told him I would certainly return the next chance I had (when I had nothing better to do, like sleep in, or swallow nails.)

This was truly a different kind of church, the kind that could say, "I love you... but you're going to hell." They might even kiss you on the cheek, the kiss of death.

I only hope I fooled them and their God into believing I was righteous, as I would hate to get on their bad side. I mean, it's forever, this death then hell thing.

What ever happened to the love part? Or did I just miss that when I was growing up? Was it always this way, and I just didn't notice?

Atheist Flogging For Free Blogging

I was curious about how atheists thought. I mean, I have certainly many friends who are atheists and other religions. Yes, religion. There is no difference. My experience with people of a religious persuasion has usually been to convince me I was wrong no matter how much they claimed to have open minds. I grew up Southern Baptist, so I have some experience with the type.

So, I embarked on an experiment. Personally, the internet is an impersonal place sometimes. People are certainly able to act in a way they would never act in your face unless they wanted to get punched. Of course there is always the transsexual of the broadband; you know that 55 year-old guy that poses as a young woman to excite straight boys or the occasional lesbian.

The problem with atheists is the same as theists; they argue a conclusion without sufficient evidence. I mean, if they simply didn't come to a conclusion, they'd be agnostics, who claim they just don't know. Logic is not evidence; it is only theory from a starting point to an end by logical means unless we are talking about math. It is interesting how much effort people put into atheism, while I rarely hear agnostics arguing their point or organizing into groups. Sadly, atheism has become as dogmatic as theism. They sound like beliefs to me. All I know is that I don't know; anything else regarding God or Godlessness is evangelism.

I guess the most emotional baggage comes from being judged. True, I refuse to believe in a God who would send anyone to an eternal Hell (fire), or a God that give us the nature to Sin, and then punishes us for it. However, a loving God that that doesn't know where he came from, who made us the same, that leaves us to perpetuate MIND by leaving such things unknown--This is a God I would not resist; even a God that no longer lives--other than through his progeny, us.

What is it that gives us chills when we love? Is it an accident from an endless series of accidents? Or do we conclude we came from nothingness into somethingness without willingness? Interesting to ponder, but does not change things other than to distract me from my primary task--the focus on HERE and NOW and the effect that has on THERE and THEN... Can I be detached; without proclaiming belief? Can I avoid coming to a conclusion therefore continuing to exist? For to answer any of these questions with finality might cause us all to cease.

Coming to conclusions without a factual basis are necessary for our continued existence. When you run, do you consciously consider the possibilities of the Earth caving in each time you step? It could, you know. But, of course, you keep running, as if on automatic. If you lived in such doubt, you would be paralyzed, have no friends, money, do nothing. Of course you live in faith that the past recapitulates, most likely. This same faith is what gives comfort to many theists AND atheists. You come to a conclusion and get on with your life, as if you are correct.

The agnostic does not know, does not care and isn't bothered enough to care about knowing, to let it slow him down. He reserves judgment for a time when we have tools to know or it becomes revealed. Maybe it has been revealed, to someone, not me...yet. Until then, Zen and then Zen again, before you know it, living in the moment, making choices without coming to conclusions about such things as God, that thing bigger than we.

These well-organized atheists come to conclusions that are equally assertive, absolute, and evangelical as the theist, so I chose neither; posturing only to refuse conclusions without sufficient evidence. Now, I just couldn't keep my mouth shut while on this website for two days; after all, I had to speed things up.

The response was amazing, I was chased across the island, beaten, called names, laughed at, threatened with "banning" and finally banned (for 3 weeks). Without the food and water of that site, I might die. What a horrible thing they did to me, banning me from their abuse and disdain. Yes, I have read Lord of the Flies but I didn't expect such rational people to have such irrational fears of something so silly as words.

They were without exception cruel and unusual, and for the most part, lacked any formal training in Logic, the language of their God. I have never seen such wrath heaped onto an outsider; and they didn't even know that's what I was. Didn't they think I could be saved if they only kindly presented their logical sermons?

They had official postings everywhere about their beliefs, The Ten Rules of Atheism. They had their prophets or was it profits, lurking in the background. One such prophet even came down from the heavens to confirm he could not tolerate such questioning of his faith. Wow, he even had an internet radio show. The "Mod" (moderator) posted on his profile he would do computer code for food.I read the TOS (Terms of Service) and nowhere did it say I had to agree with atheism or I would go to hell. I asked him if "Mod" rhymed with "God" for a reason. He threw me out of the temple really quick, and I hadn't even had the chance to question his profit motives, darn.

Unless you’re into flogging over your blogging, don't go there, Mary! Oh yes, they had the appearance of disagreeing with each other with their semantic battles, but when the essence of their Mod-fearing existence was questioned, that was the straw argument that broke the atheist's back. I even went into the site under an assumed name, FunFallacy, and posted a request for the old me to tell a joke or something. I said I missed myself.

They were on the lookout. Before I could get so much as a second post, I was banned again; I mean less than two minutes. I got an email telling me I was banned for creating a sock puppet...how cute; as if they were not puppets of their leader, feeling all warm and fuzzy when he delivered his sermons of disbelief.

Yesterday, I was listening to Al Franken, my pastor of liberalism, and he had a guest from Newsweek whom he quickly differentiated from himself; reporter ... just a person. I love Al with all my cynical heart.What an adventure that was, and will be again when my ban is lifted. I couldn't think of anything better to do on my Spring Break from teaching Critical Thinking than to piss off atheist evangelists. Oh, we Agnostics.

If I were qualified to believe one way or the other, wouldn't that make ME God?
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You may not like me, but love me or I'll kill you--God.