A Little Distraction--Play These Games To Your Heart's Content

False Pretender's
Time Out!

These are cute flash games. You may have to try a few times before you get the instructions right.

For "Virus," mainly, move the mouse and click the place you want to go (don't try to drag).

And, NO! This is NOT a computer virus!

For "Fish" just click in center of screen to begin, and move your mouse to move the fish; no click necessary.



For "Fall Down" just use your left and right cursors to move the ball to open holes.
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If you don't know how to play "Asteroids", you are making ME feel old! Just use your LEFT, RIGHT AND UP (TO ACCELERATE) CURSORS to stay out of the way and SPACEBAR to shoot, H=Hyperspace (for a quick escape in a tight situation).



"Pac-Man" is self-training. You die enough, you learn!



This looks a lot like "Tetris" but you know how some people are just uptight about trademarks.


This is just like the original, but better "Space Invaders=Alien Invasion". If you are not already obsessed...

Tired Of Being Right About Your Leftism? Become A Republican

When Stephen Colbert said, "...reality has a well-known liberal bias," he really riled a few Republicans as they were called on there lies and pandering. But below, we find there is a solution to being politically correct; Become a Republican!




Various Timing/Interactive Flash---Enjoy!

Man Invents Himself

Claymation continues to fascinate us and this is no exception. From a Russian filmmaker, the metaphor of a "self-made man" who finds himself in a box without control or illumination -- well, it's mildly ingenious. This may not be real, but it is certainly true!

Warning: Artistic representation of nudity.

Darkeness, Light, Darkness - Jan Svankmajer
6 min.

Soccer Penis Faux Pas de France--Just Hangin' Out!

This what happens when you put too much in a box and shake it up. It's bound to pop out. Get a load of the fascination by the opposing team player.

Fair Warning: This piece does contain mild male frontal nudity. (Yes, a soccer player's penis).

30 sec.

bichinho
Uploaded by chungke

Don't Lose Your Head Over This!

Those wacky, deceptive and tricky Japanese almost blow your mind if not your whole head in this little magic trick on a variety show. And, no, the language is not Japanese. It was taken from Thai TV as their magic spreads around the world!

30 sec.

SNL - Short 'n' Curly

1min23sec
When this originally aired on SNL, it drove death nail into any hopes of attracting conservative viewers. They keep pushing the envelope. Don't worry; the nudity is mosaic, but if you can't imagine, you have no imagination.

The Davinci Gode (A Parody of "The Davinci Code") - Of Course!

1min49sec
For those of you truly offended by sacrilege and semi-porn, skip this one. However, the French bastards that made this don't really give a shit! It is in French but requires no translation. Hopefully, Jesus has a sense of humor.

XXX - Not as it seems...Those silly French!

:20
This must be watched at length in order to fully appreciate the artistry of the French!

Saturday Night Live (SNL) - Music Video - "Dick In A Box" Uncensored - Justin Timberlake & Andy Samberg

SNL A Special Christmas Box - Watch more free videos

2min 45 sec
Dick In A Box - Uncensored was originally aired last month on SNL and certainly continued Timberlake's risque humor living up to the Janet Jackson "Titty-Rippoff" of grand infamy.

Saturday Night Live (SNL) - Natalie Portman Rap - Suck My D!@K!-Surprises Young Men Who Didn't know She Had One!

Original SNL Music Video-Wait to load
Egotastic.com



2min30sec
A Unique Response to Natalie Portman's Rap - Suck My D!@k!
Saturday Night Live sketch, in the Digital Short Video segment series starring Natalie Portman. Chris Parnell and Adam Samburg also starred in the original short. This sketch was hilarious. This young man upon discovery Natalie has a D!@K, is clearly upset.

It is censored as it was publicly broadcast, but unless your "rhymer" is out of order, you will get it. Natalie certainly did her best to reverse her rated G image from her "Star Wars" movies. I just hope that the boys are not too disappointed.

Foley-"I gotta big one"---Bush---"Well, in Texas we got some whoppers!"

By Chinko Vergudo

You know, those Washington guys should really be aware of the hidden shotgun microphones and telephoto cameras.

I a recent conversation between President Bush and then Congressman Mark Foley, the two were heard and seen exchanging conquest stories. I can only say they are clearly size queens. Who would have known this conversation would come back to haunt them now that Foley is "out"?


I will tell you this: it had something to do with the real reason Cheney is the bigger man in this administration. I only wish I had not been warned this conversation had been deemed a matter of national security and had been classified, but it is a "big" story. I guess we will have to wait until the file has been declassified by the upcoming Democratic president Ronald Reagan, Jr.



While Cheney is the man behind the president he knows who's on top, Bush certainly prefers to bring people to their knees. Oops! I wasn't supposed to let that one slip. But you never heard it from me.

Smart-Al Gore Fights Wierd-Al Yankovich

Celebrity Deathmatch: Wierd Al Yankovich vs Al Gore

This is a great claymation style video; behind the scenes and in the ring, this is a gem! You gotta love all "Al's".
7 min 33 sec

Need Glasses? Always Know What You're Blowing!

OK. Let's face it; Blowjobs are funny! This ad for an optical company could only run in a free country... Germany.

This is just in case you were wondering why you couldn't feel it.

Is President Bush a Girly Man?

Recent news from a very reputable syndicated journalist has just surfaced. NOT A JOKE!

WayneMadsenReport.com
June 4, 2006 -- More on George W. Bush's "Sanctity of Marriage" gay marriage constitutional ban.

George W. Bush's marital problems have just taken another turn for the worse. Apparently, Mr. Bush has not only engaged in an extra-marital affair with a member of the opposite sex who is also a senior member of his Cabinet, but also a member of the same sex. WMR received the following release this morning from Leola McConnell, Democratic candidate for Governor of Nevada (who has been endorsed by WMR). McConnell is a one-time professional dominatrix.

"President Bush's speech to the nation Monday. If he doesn't say he's a gay American or at the least a bisexual one then he shouldn't be making one at all. And the notion that it would be in regards to writing bigotry into our nation's Constitution is reprehensible.

Too bad it isn't me doing the rebuttal because in 1984, I watched him perform (with the enthusiasm of homosexual male who had done this many times before) a homosexual act on another man, namely Victor Ashe. Victor Ashe is the current Ambassador to the nation of Poland who should also come out like former Governor McGreevey of New Jersey and admit to being a gay American. Other homo-erotic acts were also performed by then private citizen George Bush because I performed one of them on him personally.

I am the woman this website (bushssecretlifein84.tripod.com) speaks of that has been posted on the net nearly two years now. None of this would be the business of anyone but President Bush's little ruse to save his failed presidency by using DOMA [Defense of Marriage Act] to divide Americans one from the other has to be exposed as the act of a desperate closeted homosexual man. The only crime in being GLBT is in the hiding.

The President needs to come clean with the American people about his own past sexual behavior before he tries to besmirch the humanity of people in search of sincerely committing to the same bonds of matrimony he's afforded. He violated his own vows of monogamy having a homosexual affair with a long time family friend of whom his wife had no knowledge.

His hypocrisy seems to know no bounds. I had planned to run for governor of Nevada without going into any of this but his planned nationally televised address to the nation makes it necessary for me to address his attempt at division in as public a way as he picked to try this Bushification of reality regarding same sex marriages.

Sincerely,
Leola McConnell
Liberal Democratic candidate for Governor of Nevada"

Related Commentary on DULY CONSIDER - Bush Gay Ban Pandering

Is President Bush a Girly Man? (HUMOR)
by Betty Bowers

Article

Is Ann Coulter A Man? If So--She's Got Balls!

PRESIDENT BUSH DEFENDS ANN COULTER FROM SLANDEROUS LIBERAL ALLEGATIONS OF TRANSSEXUALITY - whitehouse.org 2002

Press Briefing by the President

THE PRESIDENT: Good morning. Please be seated. Let's get right down to business. This morning, I am joined here at the presidential podium by my good friend and tireless champion - the lovely and talented Ms. Ann Coulter.

MISS COULTER: That's "Miss Coulter," not "Ms."

THE PRESIDENT: My mistake. Please forgive me.

MISS COULTER: I would never be known as Ms. Coulter. "Ms." is liberal, Gloria Steinem code for "Attention all fat, hairy bull dykes within earshot! My hot clam requests the pleasure of your filthy tongue's epileptic company!"

THE PRESIDENT: I did not know that. But let's move on, because I am hopping mad. Earlier this morning, when I received my daily 5AM singing "Wake Up, Sleepyhead" call from Karen Hughes in Texas, I learned about a vicious, unsubstantiated, HATEFUL rumor which is being spread about Miss Coulter. Namely, that she is in fact a man.

MISS COULTER: This is exactly the kind of liberal lie that I expose in my book Slander, which is now available at fine booksellers nationwide (and online) for the almost offensively low sale price of $15.00. In this 240-page masterpiece, I effortlessly and brilliantly debunk every liberal myth about conservatives. Preposterous myths - like how we secretly hate kikes, jigaboos, gooks, faggots, spicks, and sand niggers - but have lately taken to twisting things around and make it sound like it's really the liberals who hate them.

THE PRESIDENT: And you do a splendid job of it, Ann.

MISS COULTER: I know that! I don't need you to tell me how splendid I am. Anyway, I thought we were talking about my book.

THE PRESIDENT: Actually, no, we're here because I want to help clear up this nonsense about you really being a man. Now I want everyone to know - there's simply no way this can be true. Never mind Ann's rich, gravelly baritone, her commanding height and forceful jawline - or the fact that she arm wrestles Arnold Schwarzenegger under the table every year at the GOP celebrity retreat in Branson, Missouri. Because yes, Miss Coulter is in fact a genuine piece of Grade-A poontang, and will one day soon become successfully impregnated by a wealthy and statuesque Aryan stallion, at which time she'll do like a good Republican lady and quit all this silly "working" and "pretending to know what she's talking about" and wearing "lady pantsuits." So I want you to all to read my lips and get this through your thick skulls: Ann Coulter has always been, and always will be a woman.

MISS COULTER: It's hardly a surprise that liberals would concoct such an absurd lie about me. They do it all the time. In fact, coming up with sickening lies about formerly flat-chested good girls who wear size 15 pumps is an integral part of one of their most important daily rituals - the ceremonial vivisection and cannibalization of living, white human infants.

THE PRESIDENT: Is that a fact?

MISS COULTER: Absolutely. And when they're done feasting on the tender young flesh of the white race, they regroup several hours later to defecate together on rug-sized reproductions of the United States Constitution. And then of course, they pray to Satan and Allah while strapping each other into latex gravity boot systems so they can hang upside down like rabid, naked fruit bats for the rest of the day and watch Phil Donahue on MSNBC while urine runs down their inverted torsos and in to their hideous, liberal, gaping maws!

THE PRESIDENT: The depth and accuracy of your knowledge never fails to amaze, Ann.

MISS COULTER: Don't patronize me. It won't work - because I haven't forgotten how you cozied up with Mr. Fatso Slut Murderer - Ted Kennedy - to write that Socialist education bill earlier this year. So tell me, President Bipartisan Lovefest, are you actually a liberal?

THE PRESIDENT: You know, I think I've successfully diffused this silly notion of you being a man. Why don't we wrap this up, Ann?

MISS COULTER: Answer the question! Are you now or have you ever been a member of the liberal intelligentsia?! Did you not attend Yale and Harvard Universities? Were you not born in CONNECTICUT?! Oh wait, so was I. Never mind on that one.

THE PRESIDENT: Guard! Please show Miss Coulter the door.

MISS COULTER: You can run from the truth, but you can't hide, LIBERAL! TRAITOR! I've got a throbbing eight-inch staff of conservative payback in my panties that's got your name written all over it!! So come on over and take it like a man!

THE PRESIDENT: Take her away, boys.

MISS COULTER: It's just a matter of time! The real right-wing of this country will have its revenge! We will storm your...

(Secret Service Scuffling & Muffled, Gruff Yelling.)

THE PRESIDENT: Thank you all for coming. God Bless America.

Once and for all-Is Ann Coulter really a man? Poll Results Official!
	Yes
	No
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	Eunich
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Raising Twin Harlots Can Be Difficult

Laura Bush is interviewed for the first time on the difficulties of raising her twin harlots. This story is possibly the funniest I have read on the net. The funniest thing is the painful poetic jusctice that is the truth. Betty Bowers reports:

Bush Family Criminal Empire--Funny If It Were A Joke

Source: Political Strikes

Al Gore's March Of The Penguins

Though I absolutely adore Al Gore, I just have to give you this very cute story of Al Gore's real "Inconvenient Truth". He is currently building an army of penguins to follow him to the ends of the earth to save their habitat. I have it on clear authority, Gore claims this is NOT funny and finds no conflict of interest between humans and penguins.

2:04

Stephen Colbert At The White House Correspondents Dinner - - Part 2

Catch your breath and see the rest!

08:38

Stephen Colbert At The White House Correspondents Dinner - - Part 1

This is the infamous speech from Stephen Colbert. You decide if this is hard news or comedy. It is certainly ingenious!

8:36